I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
17 year olds will be the death of me.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
