Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.

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(318): View more from Louisiana

All of his creepy stalker friends want you too

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(973): View more from New Jersey

I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.

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(505): View more from New Mexico

He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.

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(586): View more from Michigan

She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.

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(360): View more from Washington

I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.

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(720): View more from Colorado

I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.

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(563): View more from Iowa

I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.

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