oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
