He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
