I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Found the puke drawer
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
