There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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