ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Hippo gnu deer
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
He better not be in your backpack
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
