...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
