ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
