no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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