pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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