So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
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