...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
