It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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