You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
