apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Never let your siblings swipe right.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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