smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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