you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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