i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
COCAINE IS GR8
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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