he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
