well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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