This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I wear drunk well.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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