So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
