I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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