WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'm experimenting with sincerity
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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