Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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