Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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