I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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