I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
