Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
