come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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