We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
