Don't make out with my wife yet
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
