Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
how drunk are you?
Several
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
