In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
