It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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