What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize