Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
