I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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