I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
But we have bathrooms and they dont
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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