Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
