i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
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