well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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