Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
