ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
