Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
do herpes really smell.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
