I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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