Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
