Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
