David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
