From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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