I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
