Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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