Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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