i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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