I hate all girls vehemently.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
