Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
