she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I am full of burrito and curiosity
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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