yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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