We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
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