How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize