Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
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