ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
